A precious child has been diagnosed with cancer. Life changes forever for those who are close to this child. No one looks at the life as they used to anymore.
Having a child diagnosed with cancer is not just a medical journey - it is a terribly difficult and heart-wrenching emotional experience. Feelings, and subsequently behaviours, change imeediately after the diagnosis. Everything becomes extremely overwhelming for everybody - family, relatives and friends. There are no right or wrong feelings and behaviours. Although medical treatments and outcomes are unique to the individuals, the feelings and behaviours that follow diagnosis show commonality regardless of location and background. It is how we learn to cope.
You and your child will experience one or more of these emotional feelings:
Shock and disbelief - "I just can’t believe it." "It can’t be true." "Cancer happens to other people (adults), not my child."
Denial - "There’s nothing really wrong with my child." "He/she doesn't have cancer."
Fear and uncertainty - "Is he/she going to die?" "Will he/she be in pain?" "Will my child change?"
Loss of control - "My child can’t cope with this." "He/she’ll never get through it."
Anger - "Why my child?" "Why does this have to happen now?" "This is supposed to be an adult case not a child".
Resentment - "How come my child isn't getting better?"
Sadness and sorrow - "He/she used to be so healthy." "He/she has so many plans." "We have so many plans for him/her."
Blame and guilt - "If this hadn’t…this would never have happened."
Withdrawal and isolation - Your child may say (normal with older children) - "Please leave me alone." "I just need to be on my own."
And it is OK to feel these feelings. Recognising these feelings is important. Only then you can find a way of coping which is right for yourself and your child.
Monty's Corner has been established based on the "good mental/emotional health" concepts through self-help strategies:
Keep an open mind – positive thinking while still feeling low is ok. There is no pressure to be positive all the time. Crying is ok.
Talk things through – expressing feelings.
Keep a diary or journal – if you feel unable to talk to others, writing can help to express feelings, particularly fears and worries.
Avoid boredom – doing nothing can be boring, which in turn can lead to anxiety or depression. Minds need to be occupied.
Release tension – releasing tension even for a few minutes can be beneficial to emotional wellbeing.
Relax, visualise or meditate – finding way to relax, visualise or meditate can help ease fears and anxieties.
Based on these concepts, we are designing online activities for children who are going through cancer treatments or finished treatments, and online services for parents.
Monty's Corner is sponsored by CCE Research Alliance (www.cce-researchalliance.com), a charity registered in England - registered charity number 1130106.
If you wish to contact us please use our online contact us form.
Read our history to find out how Monty's Corner started.
Read who "Monty" is.
CCE Research Alliance is a grant making trust. For funding schemes please refer to www.cce-researchalliance.com website.