Helping Children to Transcend Fear: Tuning into Peace and Joy

By Laura Bedford, Inner peace teacher and vibrational awareness/energy practitioner, Chicago USA

Is there anything worse than a child who is afraid or in pain? What can we do to support little ones and adolescents who are going through cancer treatment to feel safely held? Likely, you are already doing everything possible. The focus for this article is to share a few ideas that support easing a child’s fears and upsets and to enchant the wildly active imaginations of children, which may help to lessen their concerns and yours.

Share with the child that no matter our physical, emotional or mental state, we are all whole and perfect and perfectly beautiful. While it may feel like a tall order at times, relax into the peace that is always present beyond all fear and discord in your mind. Hold your own and a child’s fear in peace, knowing all is well, even if all does not seem well here on Earth. (I love that earth and heart share the same letters!) Your gentleness and your vulnerability are your greatest strengths. Trust your wise, open heart. You can do this, and so much more because we are all so much more. If your child has difficulty sleeping, explore what causes them to feel afraid or uncomfortable. Meditation, stretching and relaxing breathing experiences may help. Ask what they feel would help them. Bedtime is a scary time for many children. Rubbing their back, reading a story, making up a story with your child as a central character may be powerful and sleep inducing. I work with a little one who has trouble falling asleep at times. As soon as I make up a ninja story with him as one of the ninja, he’s out like a light. Your love carries your child into joy.

Don’t be afraid of what you feel and what your child feels. Honor your experiences. Support a child to honor their fear, not to shut it away or deny the sensations they are experiencing. Encourage them to honor their feelings and to imagine their feelings as a rainbow of colors. A child’s ability to imagine may take this exercise beyond your wildest expectations. Encourage the child to go within to peace, to their Inner Light, to their Still Core. Children often call this their Happy Place. Remind the child they don’t need to always be happy to find their happy place. Indeed, it is when we ask for help from within that we are more likely to access our happy place. We are never alone. Our Light is safe and helped gently while we dream of painful experiences in this life.

Help the child to feel safe in your presence expressing whatever they need to express. Cry and laugh together. Rest together. Get mad together. Move those feelings right through and out rather than stuffing them away as bad or weak. No one is bad or weak. Such things are a myth! The Light within you and your child is strong and will never go out. It is in letting go of our own ideas, fear and judgment about what we are feeling that we find our true strength. While fear may come up, don’t be afraid of fear. Embrace the experience of fear. It is not as real as we think. What is real (Love) doesn’t shift. Only the physical world shifts and fear always dissolves. Life here changes for us all. When we ease our heart into a fuller experience and awareness of Life, accepting change, the more flowing our journey becomes. During dire feeling times, this may not seem right, however, the wisdom of trusting the flow of Life inspires us to experience in the present moment and to cherish what is happening that reminds us what matters most.

Enter the child’s world with gleeful abandon. Ask them questions that you are curious about, such as, “What helps you to feel safe?” Ask about things that are important to them (if not to you). A child gives us pictures of their perception of the world. This is exceedingly real for them. Honor and relish their vision of reality. Their innocent perception expands our own. Children perceive multi-dimensionally. Trust the images they share and find their meaning for you. This child and the experience of illness is expanding your perception and stretching you. What are you learning? What inspires you to dig deeper inside yourself? Are you giving yourself rest, exercise and nourishing food? Allow you and your family to take time for balance, peace and to laugh and to cry, without feeling shame for experiencing joy and sorrow during a dark time. Taking care of you helps your child.

For those who are struggling at any age, it is wise and brave to allow our feelings, our fears and our joys to be honored, to be felt, so they dissolve. Sharing feelings and thoughts with those we trust, those who can honor our experience without needing or being able to make it better, can be deeply healing. If a child shares feelings with those who are not present with them and allowing their feelings to be fine, they may shut down. The adventure is to remain present with a child’s experience, letting it be perfect.

  • Enjoy and support the child to feel safe in your presence by honoring their experience. Encourage them to not take on the fears and concerns of those around them, or to feel responsible (if this seems to be an issue) for their illness or how it may be affecting the family. The family is journeying together. There is much that can be done to support creating a safe, peaceful and joyful presence within any circumstance. Be creative and be patient, especially with yourself. When a moment feels hard, remind yourself that only Love and joy is real.
  • Explore books and teachings that share what children need to feel loved. The Five Love Languages of Children is an excellent resource. My book, The Mix Up, is packed with gentle tools and stories to support children and our own struggling inner child. It reads like a warm cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles.
  • In our fact-paced, driven world, give yourself a break. Place the life-support system over your own mouth and nose before assisting others. Taking care of you ensures that you will be present to support your child. Don’t be afraid to ask for a break, and don’t feel guilty for the joy and peace that comes your way in doing so. Children thrive on joy and peace. They long for fun and play. When you arrive with energy and passion for their life and for your own, the world shifts in miraculous ways.
  • Pay attention to what helps your child to feel safe and loved. You may find this may not be what you “think” it is.
  • Explore creative ways to meet the heart of your child. Games of all sorts can be made up. Or, play an existing game and change the rules. Treasure mixing things up ~ make up your own rules. Life is truly what we make it. All circumstances can be made into an adventure. It is only when we deny our experiences that we suffer.
  • Help the child practice slowing their mind (thoughts) and seeing their feelings as waves of energy. It may help to support them to breathe in a deep, peaceful way. Help them focus on their breath when they are feeling an upset. The mind naturally calms into peace when we pay attention to our breathing. If a child is able, practice Tai Chi or Qi Gong or yoga together. The child can do this in bed. Kids can also be taught acupressure points to tap on their bodies when they are scared, frustrated, lonely or upset. Tapping/pressure on the body’s points releases block energy (emotional, mental and physical) and helps take the mind off repeating thought-cycles, which keep upset alive. Only our ego is afraid. Ego is simply the part of our mind that doesn’t always remember we are fundamentally connected to all Life and that fear is not as strong as we believe.
  • Encourage the child to enter their still core when they feel an upset. Be sure that they are not denying the upset, but rather going beyond the upset. Allow sensation to move through for as long as it takes. Holding a child may be all that is needed. Silence is golden. We all have a felt-sense, intuition that assists us to remember who we really are (beyond our bodies).
  • Being aware of vibrations inside you is always helpful. Bring yourselves into a sensory vibration of gratitude. Focus on something you love dearly, such as your child, a sunset, Love itself, anything that supports you to feel gratitude as a felt-sensation. When this vibrational state is felt deeply within yourself, suggest to your heart and mind that you are safe and that your child is safe. Relax into the silence and allow what you are feeling to flow without resisting it. Continue for as long as you as this feels appropriate to dissolve any fear. Images, thoughts and feelings may come into your awareness. Trust that there is information within what you are experiencing. (Judging nothing.) Simply take note of your experience and let what comes dissolve into peace.
  • Allow your feelings to be honored and take nothing personally. Everyone concerned is always doing his/her best. Let go of expectations and assumptions as much as possible, and trust your felt-sense. Our heart always knows what we want ~ healing, peace and joy. Trust and have faith that all is well. Only our ego believes we are not well or not perfect right now. There is nothing more to do. Be at peace in the chaos of fear. Our ego and the child's needs a huge hug and to told to be still and know Love.

The journey of illness and the difference between a physical healing and an expanding sense of who we really are in the flow of Life is the adventure of all Earth dwellers. Your family has signed on for a very insightful journey that is serving the whole. The whole of earth is great and full for your presence and for that of your child’s.

Laura Bedford is an inner peace teacher and vibrational awareness/energy practitioner for youth and all ages. Her website is

Laura’s book, The Mix Up shares on the subject of suffering and is packed with heart-expanding tools - Amazon paper copr or on Kindle