meltem's blog

We are waiting for Melanie’s white cells to come up. While waiting we are introduced to Hama beads by the play specialist in the ward. First day Melanie makes one shape. Second day, she makes three shapes. Third day, I joined her. We start making many shapes in varying sizes and colour. The play specialist complains that she cannot just attend us only (because we ask her to do the ironing). This means I need to do it. Ok fine, no problems. We produce about 50 figures made from Hama beads. Bees, angles, Santa, rainbows and so on.Read more

Melanie is receiving her fourth chemo – the last one. Hurray, four months of treatment is almost over. The whole thing is almost over. I am not sure how I should be feeling now. Can I feel happy? Four months of living in and out of hospitals is coming to an end. We can finally go home and never think about it again. I know that there is still radiotherapy but it is ok.Read more

There is a Christmas play at school. Melanie always participated in the plays. It is her speciality, to be on stage and perform. She is so comfortable on stage. She likes people watching her. But, this year it is doubtful that she will participate. She missed all the preparations already. Right now, she has a break – in between chemos. She seems happy to help her friends out for the play. She seems happy with just being there. Her friends do not leave her a minute alone. Melanie is surrounded by good friends.Read more

We are waiting for her MRI and CT scans to come in. They were taken a while ago when she had this weird infection around her eyes.

The scans show some abnormality in her brain and the consultants are not entirely sure what that means. Some think that they are sign of leukaemia cells. Not to take any chances, they add additional chemo injections through the spine.

They also suggest radiotherapy on the head after the chemo treatments are over.Read more

There is this boy in the ward, named Nick. He is always around, going from one room to another, visiting other kids. He is 14yrs old. He seems physically much smaller and younger than his age but mentally much older. He’s been in and out of hospitals for about four years.

I understand that he will have a bone marrow transplant soon. He is given 20% success. I don’t know how to interpret this number. Is it good or bad? I take it as bad. I feel sorry for him. I also think that, despite Melanie’s aggressive condition, she stands a better chance than him.Read more

I am in the ward kitchen. I meet Brian’s mum. It is funny how we talk about each other. First names are not used. It is always someone’s mum and dad. Brian’s mum tells me that they came from South Africa and have been waiting for a donor for more than half a year. Finally there is one found and now little Brian is getting for the transplant. He’s been on an doff hospitals for the past five years.Read more

There is this boy, named Andy. He is 14 yrs old. I find out that he has been in and out of hospital for the last four years. I am terrified. Fours years of treatment… Goodness this sounds awful amount of time. The doctors said Melanie will be given the standard four month-course chemotherapy treatment.

Four months vs four years. I am thinking, shall I be grateful, shall I worry or what? I see Andy’s mother outside the ward, smoking when ever she gets a chance. First we criticise her about smoking then her unfriendliness.Read more

Melanie’s hair is as stubborn as herself. They are not falling, still hanging there. She has very long gorgeous hair. I talk to the nurses that perhaps her hair will not fall out. They look at me and smile – it will.

One day I am sitting on Mel’s bed… Still I don’t know how sit on her bed. Either I am stepping on the tubes (she then screams at me) or I fall out. Anyhow, I see something crawling on her hair. I cannot believe my eyes – it is head lice. But how comes we did not see it before?

Again, we start laughing and making jokes about head lice dying from the chemo.

So far Melanie had the typical side effects of the chemo…mouth ulcers etc.Read more

Diagnosis is done. We are waiting for the results of many tests to give us an indication as to where to go from here.

I remember the very first night the doctors saying that Melanie was near the edge. She was so weak when she was hospitalised and there was a good chance that she could not make through the theatre session where they gave her total anaesthesia.

She might have been “near the edge” then but she came back to me and everything was going to be just fine.

My husband, Andi tells me all possible scenarios but I don’t want to listen to him. Just focus on the good outcome.Read more