Few months or few years – it is the same

I am in the ward kitchen. I meet Brian’s mum. It is funny how we talk about each other. First names are not used. It is always someone’s mum and dad. Brian’s mum tells me that they came from South Africa and have been waiting for a donor for more than half a year. Finally there is one found and now little Brian is getting for the transplant. He’s been on an doff hospitals for the past five years.

Goodness, again five years. How can one go through this for five years? Brian’s mum tells me that it really does not matter whether it is a few months or few years, feelings are the same, we all feel the same. No matter how long it takes we simply hang in there for our children and feel the same.

I look at her. She is always smiling. Don’t know where she find that strength to smile. Am I the only one continuously crying?

WHY?

Why in my brain?
It caused me so much pain.
Why in my head?
Perhaps somewhere else instead.
Why in my brain?
We tried a fluid drain.

I just want to walk like you.
I’ve had enough now, haven’t you too?

Poem from Sophie Pollock who lost her battle with cancer in 2007.

Things you can do on Difficult Days

Talk about the child who has died.
Write a letter to him/her.
Eat his/her favourite food.
Watch a video of him/her.
Wear one of his/her clothes like a scarf.
Light a candle.
Look at photos.
Listen to his/her favourite music.
Visit the grave.
Cry, laugh, scream.
Release a balloon with a message.

Some tips for parents and siblings.

What’s the Point?

What’s the point of eyes,
If you’re not here to see?
What’s the point of ears,
If you cannot hear me?
Every sense on my body,
Useless as a broken toy,
What’s the point of beauty,
If you cannot enjoy?

Cry of a parent - by JK.